Calamities, Events, and Quests
[If you have suggestions for others, email me]
Calamity: was bitten by drdink
Calamity: fell into a hole
Calamity: bit their tongue
Calamity: set themself on fire
Calamity: ate a poisonous fruit
Calamity: lost their mind
Calamity: died, temporarily..
Calamity: was caught in a terrible snowstorm
Calamity: EXPLODED, somewhat..
Calamity: got knifed in a dark alley
Calamity: saw an episode of Ally McBeal
Calamity: got turned INSIDE OUT, practically
Calamity: ate a very disagreeable fruit, getting a terrible case of heartburn
Calamity: met up with a mob hitman for not paying his bills
Calamity: has fallen ill with the black plague
Calamity: was struck by lightning
Calamity: was attacked by a rabid cow
Calamity: was attacked by a rabid wolverine
Calamity: was set on fire
Calamity: was decapitated, temporarily..
Calamity: was tipped by a cow
Calamity: was bucked from a horse
Calamity: was bitten by a møøse
Calamity: was sat on by a giant
Calamity: ate a plate of discounted, day-old sushi
Calamity: got harassed by peer
Calamity: got lost in the woods
Calamity: misplaced his map
Calamity: broke his compass
Calamity: lost his glasses
Calamity: walked face-first into a tree
Godsend: found a pair of Nikes
Godsend: caught a unicorn
Godsend: discovered a secret, underground passage
Godsend: was taught to run quickly by a secret tribe of pygmies that know how to, among other things, run quickly
Godsend: discovered caffeinated coffee
Godsend: grew an extra leg
Godsend: was visited by a very pretty nymph
Godsend: found kitten
Godsend: learned Perl
Godsend: found an exploit in the IRPG code
Godsend: tamed a wild horse
Godsend: found a one-time-use spell of quickness
Godsend: bought a faster computer
Godsend: bribed the local IRPG administrator
Godsend: stopped using dial-up
Godsend: invented the wheel
Godsend: gained a sixth sense
Godsend: got a kiss from drwiii
Godsend: had his clothes laundered by a passing fairy
Godsend: was rejuvenated by drinking from a magic stream
Godsend: was bitten by a radioactive spider
Godsend: hit it off with a drunk sorority chick named Jenny
Godsend: was accepted into Pi Beta Phi
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 225 415 280 460 lay waste to the Towers of Ankh-Allor, wherein lies the terrible sorceror Croocq
Quest (time-based): locate the centuries-lost tomes of the grim prophet Haplashak Mhadhu
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 400 475 480 380 explore and chart the dark lands of T'rnalvph
Quest (time-based): locate the ancient writings of Ahmo, prophet of the blind god Io, namely his last and hidden work, Time as Deity, thought to answer all of mankind's greater wonders
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 290 65 325 270 slay the great and horrible troll, Dokt'r Wiii
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 480 415 325 270 return the stolen relics of Iao-Sabao to the city of Velvragh, quieting the religious riot that has sprung up from their loss
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 70 315 325 270 guard the secret passage to Bharash until the full moon has passed, and the evil returned to its resting place
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 50 350 325 270 destroy the bandits terrorizing the roads passing through the Great Shahlil mountains
Quest (time-based): locate and destroy the immensely powerful Eyeless Amulet of the evil sorceress, Ankh B'loht
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 167 458 325 270 rescue the beautiful princess Juliet from the grasp of the beast Grabthul
Quest (time-based): locate the herbs and brew the elixir to rid the realm of the Normonic Plague
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 160 480 160 380 hunt down the over-abundance of mountain wolves that are slaying the regions' cows
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 35 40 325 270 assassinate the general, Ronald Ashur, of the invading army of Denmark
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 235 125 430 60 setup a trade route through the mountains to the neighboring land of Qwok and arrange correspondence with their leader, Cuincey-Love Vikk'l
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 155 155 325 270 live among and learn the ancient magick of the tribe of pygmie people, the Jow Botzi
Quest (position-based, go to first set of coordinates, then second): 70 125 170 100 kill the resurrected Jow Botzian zombies produced by a young wizard's wayward spell
Quest (time-based): worship the sacred Cow until such time as she is satiated